Which is not a reason teachers may be reluctant to have parents visit the classroom
There are many great ways to wrap up the school year, but dealing with difficult parents isn't one of them. Show
Most of your students will finish up the year and move on to the next grade. If you hear from their parents at all, it might be a thank-you card. And, if you're lucky, it might even include a gift card to a local restaurant. But some parents may not feel so kindly toward their child's teacher as the year winds down. Perhaps their child failed a final exam and needs to go to summer school, or maybe their child struggled throughout the year and you recommended testing to determine if they have a learning disability. Or, maybe their child missed a lot of instruction, and you think they need to repeat the year. Whatever the issue, you're probably not looking forward to dealing with difficult parents at this point. But there are plenty of ways to defuse the situation, keep your cool, and even help parents come to an understanding about their child's progress. 1. No SurprisesThis is probably the most important thing to keep in mind throughout the year: Make sure you keep parents apprised of any issues. If you think a student has learning problems and should be tested, don't wait until the entire year has passed before suggesting it. You can often avoid problems at the end of the year if parents have already been made aware of your concerns. But even for teachers who've done a great job of keeping parents on board, some parents will "forget" that they've been informed of any problems at the end of the year. In these cases, it's important to keep a record of emails, phone calls, or other conversations you've had regarding the student's issues throughout the year. 2. Meet Face-to-Face with ParentsInvite them in to meet with you rather than trying to resolve a problem over the phone or email. That way, you can show them samples of their child's work or records of attendance. You can also share evidence of the times you discussed the issue with them. In the end, it's usually easier for angry parents to say unpleasant things electronically than in person. Further reading: Mastering the Parent-Teacher Meeting 3. Alert Your Principal or Department Chair to the SituationIf the parents have already called to complain, the principal may want to sit in on the meeting. If not, she may want to be available if the issue can't be resolved between you and the parents. 4. Listen and Ask QuestionsShake hands with the parents who come to meet with you and ask them to explain what they're unhappy about. Wait until they finish, and don't interrupt unless you're asking for clarification. 5. Try to Find Things You Agree OnMake sure parents understand that, as the child's teacher, you'd like to see him do better, too. Be clear that your role is not to punish the child at the end of the year for not studying, not handing in work, or being absent. Your role is to figure out how to make their child more successful in the future. 6. Don't Allow Yourself to Be PressuredA few parents may ask a teacher to change a grade or move their child forward even if he or she hasn't fulfilled the requirements. You, of course, have to adhere to your professional ethics—and you don't want the reputation of someone who can be manipulated by parents. If they want to, parents always have the option to escalate the problem to the principal. Further reading: Positive Parent-Teacher Communication 7. Know When the Conversation Is OverIn my experience, once most difficult parents have expressed their unhappiness or anger, you can all can move on to find a workable solution together. Unfortunately, this is not the case with all parents. It's fine for parents to be angry, but it isn't OK for them to be abusive. If that happens and it's clear you're not going to agree, it's time to bring the conversation to a close. They may decide to take their complaint to the principal, and that's fine. That's how the system works. During your career, you'll have many meetings with parents. Most of them will be easy, gratifying, and pleasant—but a handful won't be. Knowing how to deal with difficult parents should be part of every teacher's skill set, so you can keep your cool while working to find a resolution that's in the student's best interests. Keep in mind that what may seem like reluctance doesn’t always mean families don’t wantto be engaged in their child’s education. Many families would like to be more involved. But some families may face significant barriers like unpredictable work schedules or immigration concerns. For other families, their past experiences may make them feel that the school itself is creating barriers. Reaching all familiesbegins with meeting them where they are emotionally. They may have varied feelings about family-school partnerships or have other priorities (like health issues) in their lives. Emotionally meeting families where they are requires empathy, asking questions, and sharing that you have a common interest in their child’s education. Here are some common barriers you can break down to better engage with families—and how to start doing it. Barrier 1: Unspoken Expectations About Family EngagementSome families may not see it as their place to be highly involved in their child’s education. They may think it’s their responsibility to get their child to school, and it’s the teacher’s job to teach skills and knowledge. In many cases, that doesn’t mean a family is trying to avoid responsibility. It could be a cultural difference. Or it could be a sign of respect and trust in you as the teacher. Research shows that parents who are explicitly invited and encouraged to take part in their child’s education are more willing to do so, and they feel more confident that their participation can have an impact. That involvement could take the form of supporting their child at home or being a part of school activities. Possible solutions: Communicate with your students’ families that their involvement is not only welcomed but encouraged.
Barrier 2: Inflexible Work SchedulesAccording to one literature review, parents and caregivers who have more flexibility, stability, and predictable work hours at their jobs tend to be more engaged. That’s because they can be. But many families may have trouble getting time off from work to come to IEP meetings and other school events or conferences. They may have inflexible or unpredictable work schedules. Many parents and caregivers who work hourly-rate jobs may not be able to financially afford to take time off. Others may work night shifts and rely on getting sleep while students are at school. And many parents and caregivers may not have access to email or the ability to take a phone call at their job. Possible solutions: Be flexible about how and when you communicate with families.
Barrier 3: Limited ResourcesEven if family members are able to take time off from work to visit the school, getting to the school can put a strain on their resources. For instance, parents and caregivers might have trouble arranging childcare for their other children. Or they might have difficulties with transportation, including limited access to a car or mass transportation. All of these factors can make it hard for families to participate in school events or meetings. Possible solutions: Find creative ways to overcome resource barriers.
Barrier 4: Shared or Complicated Custodial SituationsSome students split their time between their parents' homes. Other students are being raised by grandparents or other family members, or they’re navigating the foster care system. A family member who seems hard to engage may not be on your class email list because the child moved into their home after the start of the school year. In other cases, a parent or caregiver may not get notices that are sent home because it’s not their day with their child. Possible solutions: Work with families and school administrators to better understand who to communicate with about what.
Barrier 5: Cultural Differences or Immigration ConcernsIt can be challenging for families of English language learners (ELLs) or immigrant students to interact with their child’s teacher and school. A language barrier may deter some parents and caregivers from engaging with the school. There may also be cultural differences, like the view in some cultures that asking questions of the teacher is disrespectful. And some families may hold beliefs that having a struggling learner or a child with a disability is not something that should be talked about. In other cases, families may have concerns about their immigration status. Those families may be afraid to engage because they don’t feel safe or are unsure whether they can trust the school. Possible solutions: Get information about meeting the needs of the families of English language learners and immigrant families.
Barrier 6: Prior Negative Experiences With SchoolsFamilies of students who learn and think differently may come to you with years of negative experiences with the education system. They may feel intimidated by, angry at, or mistrustful of teachers and schools. Keep in mind that some learning and thinking differences are genetic and run in families. There may be generations of family members who have their own negative associations and emotions about their experiences in school. They may feel as though they don’t have the skills to support their child academically. Possible solutions: Approach learning differences with sensitivity and empathy.
Developing relationships with your students’ families isn't always easy. But it's an investment that can lead to improved student achievement and trust, as well as improvements in communication with families. Want more information?
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