Why is listening judgement important?

WHY?

We sometimes think that listening means we only have to sit back, stay barely awake, and let someones spreading their words intensively without knowing the real problem that they may have.

And at the end, you only hearing not really listening. You may give them wrong judgment or just give them some random advices as long as you think AhI already heard what she/he was talking about. Now its my turn to give them reply and thats enough!

Wellthats not as simple as that. When someone is giving their time to tell us their problem, their story, there must be something that they want from us. Maybe they need some help. And how do we know what they really need if we only hearing without giving them attention?

Listening Skill Set

Active listening is a persons willingness and ability to hear and understand. Many of us intuitively know what active listening looks, sounds, and feels like. However, we may not know what to do to be successful at it.

From the book Active Listening : Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead, active listening involves six skills: paying attention, suspending judgment, reflecting, clarifying, summarizing, and sharing.

Pay Attention

By paying attention to your behaviour and that of the other person, you create the setting for productive dialogue. Our body language as a listener may take an effect to their impression and perception of how you treat them. So they will begin to feel more comfortable and open to talk to you.

Suspend Judgement

Active listening requires an open mind. Even when good listeners have strong views, they suspend judgment, hold their criticism, and avoid arguing or selling their point of view right away.

Suspending judgment is particularly important when tensions run high. Let the other side vent or blow off steam if needed. Dont jump immediately to problem solving or offering advice. Again, be comfortable not talking. Your main job is to listen and pay attention. This does not mean that you agree; it shows that you are trying to understand.

Reflect

Reflect information and emotions without agreeing or disagreeing. Reflecting the other persons information, perspective, and feelings is a way to indicate that we hear and understand. Dont assume that you understand correctly or that the other person knows youve heard.

Clarify

Double-check any issue that is ambiguous or unclear. Open-ended, clarifying, and probing questions are important tools.

Summarize

Summarizing helps people see their key themes, and it confirms and solidifies your grasp of their points of view. Again, the summary does not necessarily imply agreement or disagreement by you, but merely allows you to close the loop.

Share

Being an active listener doesnt mean being a sponge, passively soaking up the information coming your way. You are an active party in the conversation with your own thoughts and feelings. Yet active listening is first about understanding the other person, then about being understood.

As you gain a clearer understanding of the other persons perspective, its time to introduce your ideas, feelings, and suggestions, and address any concerns. Its time to share your view and to collaborate on solutions and next steps.

So, its your turn to change. Be a good listener by being an active listener. So we can effectively give accurate advice of what they need. Be smart and give the person with whom you are communicating the time to acknowledge your comment or statement. It builds respect and credibility.